JUST GAMING

Not supposed to,
Since I have got other more impt stuff to do now.
But thanks to NK,
I'm stuck on darkthrone now.

Ok,
I'll just click recruiter and get lots of citizens,
Then build up my defence,
Then go do my stuff.

><
Great,
I'm really hooked onto the game!!!
Ahh!!!

FREAKING IRRITATED

I have a crazy mum,
Who keeps screaming and shouting for no reason.
ARGH!!!
I'm wishing I don't have to come home at all now la.
She expects me to use the comp
Only for her own selfish and idiotic purposes.
And she claims I don't do the housework
When I'm already doing half of them.
So according to my mum,
I can't play neopets,
I can't chat with my friends online,
And blah blah blah.
Seriously,
I'm out of here once I'm 21.

I just had a nightmare and heart attack
Trying to reset my password.
I changed my password,
10mins later,
I forgot what it was.
So I was stuffing everything down my throat during dinner,
And rushed back to my comp to try and reset the pw.
Goodness,
It sucks having short term memory.
So I'm not going to change my pw again.
Never ever.

Btw, thanks to nad, april, huiting and zoei
For the good luck msgs for chi o's.
And all others who tagged me on my tagboard
Or gave me well wishes personally,
Thanks!!!
=D

Now, I'll have to bear with this hell,
Till tomorrow at least,
And 5 years later,
When I can be free.

Celebrate!!! ><

Yay!!!
Chinese o's paper 1 & 2 are finally over!!!
=D
I screwed up a bit,
But what's done is done.
At least, it's over!
I'm just relying on my paper 3 to pull me up.

Mr tang told my chi class to be in ava room at 7.20am today.
So the class of 42 was there,
Waiting for the surprise he said he would give us.
He was telling all of us to relax,
And did breathing exercises.
Then he gave us each a card,
With the message inside handwritten by him.
It was so touching
That I started crying!
Even when I read it now,
I still feel like crying.
HE IS SO NICE!!!
xD

When we were going up to the hall,
He came over to tell me not to stress
And to remember what he said in the card.
Seriously,
He's the best chinese teacher ever!!!

I'm half wishing that I flunk chinese
Just so that I can continue to attend his chi lessons.
But oh well,
I can't afford to waste my parents' money,
And I can't disappoint everyone,
So I must get the A1!
><

Now that it's finally over,
I can finally relax for a while
Before I start studying again.
So I'll play neopets,
Read khr manga,
Blog, read others' blogs...
Cheers!!!
=p

GO GO GO!!!

Everyone taking express chinese,
JIAYOU!
Just 2 more days!!!
xD

Yesterday,
Mr tang gave everyone in my chi class
An apple each.
According to him,
It's organic apple.
He is so nice!!!
Imagine mr tang,
Carrying 40plus apples home from ntuc.
That's so nice of him!!!

Today,
After chi lesson,
He was saying this encouragement speech to my chi class ppl.
I don't know what's wrong with me,
But I was so touched.
I cried a tinny winny bit.
I'm so emotional!
I came to realise what a nice teacher he is,
And how I'm going to miss his chi lessons
And his stories.
Although he's so evil and keep making us copy stuff,
But there's still this really kind side of him.

Thanks mr tang!
I'll forever remember those important lessons
That not many teachers can teach.

To make sure I won't disappoint anyone,
I'm going to study now,
And get my A1!!!

Jiayou everybody!
We can get the A1!

^.^

REFLECTION TIME

(Btw, thanks van for that persevere msg!
You jiayou too!!!
Everyone taking express chi,
We can do it!!! =D)

I have decided that from this post onwards,
All impt posts will have the titles in BIG pink words,
And all not so impt posts will have the titles in
SMALL pink words, like this post's title.
So people can now choose not to read the not so impt stuff.
(Impt or not is based on what i feel the readers may think)

Forget that I said I'll stop posting till after chi o's,
Because I'm a sucker
Who can't control the urge to blog
Especially when I'm feeling down or too stressed.
So here I am, with much crap about my life again.

I doubt myself.

1st doubt:
I always used to have this ideal thought
Of the kind of parent I'll be in the future,
Which is the kind of parent I always want.
But today,
I have come to realise that I may not be able to do what I say,
Although I very much want to.

Perceptions do change once you enter adulthood.
What you think now,
May not be what you think 10 years down the road.
At that time,
Most adults are unable to comprehend teengers' feelings anymore
Probably as their mindsets mature,
And they start to think in an adult's way.
I don't know how to put it in words,
But my experience has come to tell me that
Even though adults have experienced teenagehood,
They are no longer able to understand teens,
Especially with the ever changing nature of teens.

I always tell myself,
That I want to be a mother,
Who will really understand my child.
In short,
I don't want to make the mistakes my mum makes,
Because I don't want my child to end up like me.

But can I do it?
This seems as though I'm thinking too far into the future,
But whenever I hear someone tell me that their parents
Were unreasonable, blah blah blah,
I'll tell myself I don't want to end up that way.
Because I know that if I do,
I'll blame myself,
For saying something,
But doing things in another way.
I'll hate myself for it.

Haiz...

2nd doubt:
I fear taking chi o's all of a sudden.

Whenever I think about chi o's,
I'll recall my chi psle.

During the pri6 prelims for chi,
I got A*, and topped the cohort.
Naturally, everyone will expect me to get A* for psle.
So did I.
In fact, it was a MUST for me to get that A*.
But when I got the result slip,
I cried.
Because of my aggregate score,
And also because I got A for chinese.

The disappointment at myself,
The shocked looks on my teachers' and mum's face...
They were all so unbearable.
I cried the whole day.
As more people were concerned about me,
I felt even more upset and guilty.
Where did my chi A* go to???

I suddenly freaked out when doing chi today,
Because I remembered that ugly spot in my life.
Pain, fear... All sorts of emotions swallowed me.

Now, I'm scared.
I'm afraid of disappointing myself,
And everyone else who have high expectations of me.
I'm afraid
That history may repeat itself again.

Especially when I was the only person to get that A1 for prelims2,
The burden became heavier.
Now, all eyes will be on me
To get that A1.
If I don't,
I won't know how to face everyone else.
It keeps ringing in my head,
That anything below A1=fail.
Yet, I don't want to be that failure again.
I don't want to lose to myself again.

Where has my confidence gone to?
I don't know...
I'm fighting a losing battle with my mental self...

Shit, my grandma is in the hospital.
Again.
Argh.

Bursting with Laughter

Muahaha!!!
I said I'll only blog about the impt stuff,
So here I am!
I'll die if I don't record this somewhere...
But it's kind of irrelevant to you people...
So.

My uncle's getting married on 20th June!!!
His wife is an indonesian.
I was shocked and totally couldn't believe it
When my grandma called to tell my mum the good news.
Of course,
I'm very happy for him.
But nobody in this whole wide world
(Referring to people who know my uncle)
Would have thought that my uncle will ever get married.

Brief background about my uncle:
He's a smarty pants,
And has a love for studying.
He's still taking exams at his age(37)
To constantly upgrade himself.
He keeps getting promoted in his company,
And all my relatives expect me to be like him.
=.=
Anyway,
He can get really fierce when we disturb him when he is studying.

I must say he really live up to his intelligence,
Because he managed to date his girlfriend
For 3 years plus already
Without any family members knowing about it.
Seriously,
My grandma only got to see her future daughter-in-law yesterday
When my uncle brought my grandma, grandpa,
Baby cousin, and his wife-to-be
Out for dinner yesterday.
She seems to be a nice person,
Because my baby cousin was chatting with me on the phone just now
And telling me how nice the 'jie jie' was.

(Although I wonder
How my uncle's gf is able to tolerate his foul temper...
><)

So,
The wedding is on 20th June.
It's going to be in a church,
Then buffet,
Followed by the newly-weds going off for their honeymoon
In the afternoon.
They are going to indonesia,
Where they will be holding the wedding with my aunt-to-be's family,
And enjoy couple's paradise.

My mum's going crazy
And planning how she's going to bring her camera
And take lots of photos and videos on that day.
Woah.

But I think it's so romantic
To have your wedding in the church.
Haiz...
10 more years.

Another piece of good news is:
My grandma's discharged!!!
Like finally...
But she's still kind of weak.
So I'll go visit her on the sunday
After chi o's.

Oh well,
Besides all that,
My life has recently been a whirl of chinese.
8 days more!!!

And Mr Mah,
If you get the number of days wrong again,
You are going to get it from me.
><
Haha!!!

Chinese O's!!!

This will be my last post
Until the chinese o's is over on 1st June,
When I'll exclaim my delight.
But for now,
I must be a good girl,
And start devoting all my attention to chinese.
(Unless anything impt happens that I need to blog about.)

Today was an exciting day... (haha)

I suffered a mild concussion,
Flattened nose,
Sore lips,
Painful butt,
And the impact somehow caused
My legs and shoulders to ache now.
I'm serious.
Ouch!

What happened was that
During PE,
We were playing captains ball.
I was the catcher,
So I was on the chair for the first 3 rounds.
For the last round,
I got off the chair to play.
Yuling and I banged head-on onto each other!!!
We fell back, and thumped onto the ground.
That is why my butt hurts.
For about 5 to 10 seconds,
Stars were circling my head.
Then people were hovering around me
Asking me whether I was alright.

Haiz...
I'm still having headaches and bodyaches
From that bang.
Hope that Yuling is alright...
=D

Chinese Prelims 2.
Shock.
Surprised.
Ecstatic?
I don't know,
I should be happy with my results,
But I just can't seem to be happy at all.
I have no idea why.

And we have chinese lessons every afternoon now,
Which end as late as 6plus.
I'm exhausted,
Even when I sleep at 9pm.
I feel very unwell...
Please don't let me be sick now,
Because I can't miss a single school day.
Haiz.

The stress is getting me!!!
I'm panicking over not being able to concentrate on chinese
Because of all the tests I have.
I may appear fine to everyone,
But I'm not anywhere close to being fine.
Argh... My head is bursting!!!
><

To end off this post until I blog again
12 days later:
Jiayous to all taking the chinese o's!
Strive for the As!!!
Do remember to take good care of yourself.
Let's endure the tiring afternoon lessons for now,
And get beautiful results later!

Loves!
^^

In Retrospect...

The SL exco election is here again!
On Friday morning,
They were making speeches for campaigning.
As I watched the SLs make their speeches,
I was somehow reminded of the very 1st time
We worked together.

It was neither the chinese project
Nor the inter-class debates
When we 1st collaborated
To do something.
It was actually
The SL exco election last year!

I was persuaded by Desmond to be his campaign manager
When he was running for the exco election.
And the other campaign manager was James.

Come to think of it,
The 1st time we actually talked to each other
And worked together
Was when we had to make a joke of ourselves
In front of the whole school,
During morning assembly,
For Desmond's sake.
Desmond, count yourself lucky.

I started giggling to myself
As I watched this year's SL nominees make their speeches.
Because I remembered last year
When we were actually acting like
That M1 commercial.
I was supposed to ask James to do a survey,
While he was wearing headphones and ignoring me.
We totally made a fool of ourselves
(Especially me!!!)!!!
Haha!!!

Then during the recess campaigning,
We were taking these heart-shaped papers,
With 'B' on one side and 'D' on the other,
To give out to people in the canteen,
And help Des and Bel garner support.

That's when I first knew
That he liked ______,
Because they were teasing him
And forcing him to pass a heart to her.
Must say that he was very poor thing at that time la.
But since I still didn't know him well,
I just left the scene
Which became too boring
For someone like me
Who was oblivious to the scenario.

Oh well,
Kind of crap la.
But it's funny to recall how we came to know each other.

Shy bit:
We caught each others' eyes in english lesson
When my group was doing the presentation
And I was standing there listening.
My immediate reaction was to look away
Because I could feel a silly grin creeping onto my face.
Guess that's what you call being silly in love?
(Hey, he looked away too...)

Friday night:
Spent with each other as usual.
This is like our 4th last friday night together lurh...
Sobs.
The honey milk tea tasted...okay.
And we met rats twice.
Once was in punggol park,
And there was this sound from the drain
Like elephants trumpeting.
Do rats 'squeak' like that?
Second time was at a HDB flat.
I tell you, damn gross!!!
I totally freaked out!!!
Besides that, the night went fine.
A vanilla cone each from Hougang mall macs,
Shopped a bit... Then home.
(Erm, i apologise for my bombardment of enquiries...haha.)

Saturday:
Mum brought laksa for my lunch
To me in school.
And chi lessons are killers!
Both freezing cold, and hand numbing.
Shopped at Hougang point,
Rested at the park.
He sang that fir song tian tian ye ye with me! (kind of la)
Then home at 4plus.
He went to cut his hair thereafter!
From the photo he sent to me via msn,
He looked...fine?!
Can't wait to see him tomorrow!

Today:
Went to temple with mum and sis,
Then chinatown for brunch,
And shopped.
Went home...
Then went to my mum's friend's house
To help her daughter
With studies
And personal issues.
Apparently, Sherlynn seems kinda of depressed,
Like she touches her bag for 3hrs straight for no reason,
So her parents are worried sick.
She resists all attempts to drag her to a psychologist.
After the 2 times I had chat with her,
I think she's a nice person,
Just probably unable to cope with the sec3 workload.
In my opinion, she needs to chill.

I spent 5hrs teaching her a.maths.
Now I think my brain is rotten
And I'm going to flunk a.maths.
I have forgotten all the last year stuff!!!
Help!

Her mum's real nice.
She made fried nian gao (which i really love),
And this egg which is slightly salty and very fragrant.
Yummy!!!

And I met my pri sch friend Jia Le.
Her grandparents' house was just next door.
She was like standing outside the window and saying
"Are you Priscilla?"
I heard that, and turned around,
Only to find myself staring at her
And trying to place a name to the face.
LOL.
She had grown to look so ladylike and different!!!
Omg.
I think I better find time to catch up with my pri sch mates
Before I forget how they look like.
Oh no.

Now, I'm slacking,
Not having studied a single bit during the weekends.
I think I'm dead.
Argh.
Ok, I'll try to study bio now.
Haiz...

Love you all folks!!!
And,
Love you James!!!

Give me 3 special abilities...

If I can have 3 special abilities,
These will be what I want.

(1)An infinite brain volume.
I'm getting irritated by my own forgetful-ness.
Haiz...
I just wish I can memorise things with ease.
For example,
I will not forget facts from textbooks
Immediately when exams are over.
Or that I'll remember to do several important stuff...
My memory is like at most 8GB now la!!!

(2)Ability to teleport.
This really helps when you want to
Escape from this prison you are in.
Or when you wish to be at certain parts of the world now.
Even more useful when you are too lovesick.
Haha.
I want to teleport to someone to de-stress now!

(3)Read people's hearts and minds.
I hate it when it seems like
I don't understand the people who are the dearest to me.
It just makes me feel very...
Useless and helpless.
I'll choose this ability over the above 2.
Because I really want to understand the people around me...

Well,
Pardon me for that short post during ss lesson.
We were having ss in computer lab,
But that teacher kept using her teacher computer
To check what we were doing,
And she said she will shut down comps
Not doing ss and doing something else.
Argh...so tough to blog in ss!!!

Cheer up people!!!
The light of hope is at the end of every tough journey.
(I'm trying to tell myself this...)