Headaches

My headache came when I was on bus 76, fetching my sis to school.
Until now, still very pain.
It's like nerve tugging kind of pain,
Very horrible.
I am having headaches very frequently nowadays,
Dunno why.
Today's is especially painful...
Argh.
Plus a burning forehead...
Fever? Guess so.

While walking with my sis to her school,
I saw a pair of secondary school couple,
Holding hands as they walked to school.
Very envious of them...
I miss this kind of feeling,
Holding James' hand as we walk to school...
Guys may not know it,
But such a simple action is able to light up the day
For girls like me.

On the bus back home,
I was reflecting.
I feel very apologetic towards James,
Because my previous relationship has caused me some fear,
Hence some restraint in my relationship with James.
Things that I don't want to forget,
I'll forget easily.
Yet, things that I want to forget
Cannot be easily forgotten.
Images just keep appearing in my brain,
Though I don't want them to.

Maybe you don't know it,
But I'm not as strong and tough as I appear.
Somehow, I just want to be weak and dependent,
But my past don't allow me to.
A protective wall that I've built around myself a long time ago.
Though I try very hard to break it,
I'm too useless to accomplish it.